Shocking!

At just 9 weeks in-utero, you, little one, are so full of energy that you are shocking your momma! Literally. I didn't have these electric shocks with Hudson at all, but twice now, when laying down and making a sudden movement, my stomach, upper left area, has given me a jolt. It seriously feels like wattage surging that one spot. It's quick, but it is incredibly uncomfortable and scary. The first time, I literally screamed, scaring your daddy. I then lay there, waiting for the worst. Which, in my mind is awful and vivid. I imagine instead of the warm sensation of my water breaking, the warm sensation of blood gushing out of me, indicating a miscarriage. It was terrifying. When I looked it up online though, these shocks are completely normal. They are the ligaments of my stomach stretching to make room for you to grow. They are called round ligament pains.

I don't know why, but I am seriously terrified something is going to go wrong this go-round. I am afraid of connecting with you like I did Hudson, because I fear never meeting you. I suppose I had the same worries with Hudson, I suppose all mommy's do, but it is haunting me right now. Especially when you do weird things like these scary shocks!

This pregnancy is so different than my first. It makes me both excited and scared. If you are this different all ready, how different will you be in life? Are you the exact opposite of my perfect boy?? Are you a little girl? Are you a shy, timid little thing? Will you be cautious and reserved? Or, perhaps, naughty and hard to redirect?? Are you unhealthy? Will you be my non-sleeper, picky-eater who leaves me doubting my abilities??  Or are you simply stronger already? Growing so much, so soon, so you can quickly catch up to your big brother? Oh, how I hope the latter is true. Grow strong, little one. Grow into your own individual, but grow strong and healthy. I love you,

Love, Mommy!