Little Dancer

Oh little girl, I love to feel you dancing around inside me! You are everywhere, from lower left belly to upper right belly, right by my ribs. I even saw you push my belly yesterday. You are so strong and so full of energy. It makes sense- you are sucking it all right out of me. I am needing naps everyday. I am exhausted! But it's all worth it to know that you can wiggle so happily inside me. I am so excited for the day that daddy will feel you. Every time I think he can, you stop. But that's ok- It's kind of fun to have secret mommy-daughter feelings right now. I hope that you and I can always be as close as my mommy and I are. I strive to be as good of a mommy as she is, and I think I do a pretty good job. But now she's setting some awesome standards for grandma.

Little Lady, it's funny how I will stop thinking about you for a little while only to be amazed each time I remember that I get to do this all over again- and with a baby girl at that! Sometimes I feel sad that this is my last chance to feel this and do this. I really do love pregnancy. I love the wiggles. I love the bump. I love seeing my shadow or reflection. I love the stretching, the aching, the exhaustion. Because I know what it all means. I love when daddy grabs me around the hips and embraces my belly. I love when he talks to you or about you. I love that Hudson blows bubbles on my belly and seems to be talking and teasing you already.

I have been letting myself dream about that "perfect" birth again. Oh, how I want that! A perfectly healthy, beautiful baby girl emerges after a calm delivery and is quickly handed to me, nestled onto my chest. Not rushed out of the room, not hidden away for an hour, not separated and cared for by others for 11 days. Mine. Healthy. Strong. Striving. We spend a day or two in the hospital, but you are always next to me, if not on me. You are hungry right away and take right to nursing. Your daddy and brother are able to love on you and help me. Your cry is strong and wakes me every three hours in the night- instead of the annoying hospital phone jarring me awake, making me fear the worst. I don't even have time to wander the hospital or get to know the nurses- before anyone works another shift, we are sent happily home. I don't need to cry every day because I know you are well, and if those silly post-natal hormones attack, I can hold you anytime I want to, I am not limited to visiting hours and care shifts. Friends and family visit and are able to love on you without me fretting or feeling like my time with you is being taken. Oh, is it too much to dream?? Is it unfair of me to expect this, to want it so badly?

I love you, little dancer, perfect or not-so-perfect as you may be, you are most certainly loved- always and forever.

love, mommy!

Getting used to the idea

I am letting myself get used to the idea that I am going to have a DAUGHTER. A sweet, precious little girl. Or maybe a vivacious little sass. Either way, I am getting so excited! And then I start thinking about how soon you will be here! The due date is November 6, but I would not be at all surprised if you came right before Halloween... that is soooo soon! I need to start preparing! How are you (or rather, how is your stuff) going to fit into our little home??! We need to rearrange Hudson's room. Find a place for the blankets. See if we can add a dresser for you. And add another bed or crib! Then there's all the stuff we will need to bring inside for you- the swing, playmats, bouncy chair, toys and feeding stuff! Ohmygoodness!! I let myself buy some baby girl clothes finally, plus I have a box from Lacey and Oaklee and bins coming from Aunt Shelly. You are going to have a full wardrobe, just like your brother. But where are we gonna put it?!? Oh, but I can't let myself get caught up in all this worrying. I just need to DO it. As I learned with Hudson, it all works out. And it is all worth it. I love you little lady! ~mommy

one little dressy

I said I wasn't going to buy a lot of girly clothes until the doctor verified it, but I just could not pass up this darling dress. My little sailor. Love it!

Definitely a GIRL, perhaps even a princess?

My precious Bentley Louise! We had our "targeted" ultrasound today where they do the 3D view and measure everything. As usual, you are perfect. You are measuring at 22 weeks and 6 days, due on November 8- My calculations show that you are 23 weeks and 3 days, due on November 4, so you are right on track. But you are still bashful! You absolutely refused to show us that darling face of yours, shooing us away with your hands. Silly girl. We know that you are beautiful and are in no hurry to see you, you just take your sweet time precious girl and grow strong. Just know that mommy and daddy love you and are so excited to meet you! And mommy is thrilled now to have your sex verified... it's the ultimate "Go-Ahead" for me to start stocking your little wardrobe! Beautiful, Bashful Bentley, you are loved!

love, mommy