Almost 2!!!

Bentley Louise Beck! That's what you hear more often than not anymore, as you are climbing up on something or getting in to something. You are a handful and a half! But you are my precious, sweet baby girl. And you are almost 2.

As we approach your 2nd birthday next week, I feel some shame in the fact that you are still nursing. But more than that, I feel love. I love that there is still one thing that only I can do for you. You have so much love in your life and so many people to care for you and tend to you that I fear you may not need your mommy. But right now, you still do. When you sign to me, with pouty lips and that distinct cry. And then you curl into my lap and gaze at me with those baby blues. As you are nursing, your little hands embrace my chest or curl my hair, your eyes seem to say that you do still need mommy- that you have been waiting for me all day. Your body is immediately calmed and it gives me the excuse to be calm with you and stop everything else- I can't make dinner and nurse; I can't empty the dishwasher and nurse; I am able to just BE with you. It's my favorite part of the day. I don't know how much longer this special bond will continue, but I want you to know how much it means to me. I want you to know that I will always do what is best for you and will always be there for you. 

9 months old!

Beautiful girl! You are growing up so fast! You are perfect, pretty, silly, sassy and fun. And definitely a mama's girl. That's not to say that you don't have daddy wrapped around your finger.

Anyways, we had your 9 month appointment and you are growing right as expected. Honestly, I wasn't there when they weighed you because I was running late and daddy took you, so I don't have a number. But doctor did say it was right on track. And that you are perfect. She won't write that in the records, but we all know it anyways.

You eat everything. You love nursing still and have a special cry just for it. But you also love food. Turkey, mashed potatoes, oranges, peaches, and especially popsicles and icecream.

You crawl so fast and are not even deterred by concrete or grass. And you are so ready to walk. I have no doubt you will be walking without the walker or help from the couch in a month's time.

You make clicking sounds with your tongue and love to squeal. And you say "Mama"! You are starting to say dada, and grandma swears you can say "poppop" for Grandpa, though I have yet to hear it.

Your hair still goes from red to blonde. But those blue eyes are unmistakable and you just get prettier! Even with the big bump on your noggin that you got at grandma's house.

Anyways, here's some milestone pics, since I apparently haven't been posting them... (they aren't in order...)

Well, I guess that about catches us up. You will have to stop growing for awhile now while I settle in to my new teaching job, if you don't mind. I just can't see myself having time to document all the milestones coming up and I can't not, so the only answer is for you to stop growing for a bit. 

I love you precious girl and I love that I am already your best friend and hope I always will be, even when I have to be mean and set boundaries. 

~Mommy~

Rollin' rollin' rollin, ro-high!

B!
You are a little go-getter anymore! You roll and scoot and boogy your way across the floor. You will be crawling in no time. I love it! And dread it... I want you to stay a baby for a long time, since you are my last. But it is fun to watch you grow and develop and learn. You are so attentive and alert. You love watching your brother and I can just see in your eyes I'm gonna do that... but I'm gonna do it even better!

We've tried a handful of foods with you, but I have yet to actually "make" your baby food like I did for Hudson. I want to, plan to, even, but time keeps getting away! I haven't been quite as careful with you as I was with him. Sometimes you'll just have a taste of whatever it is we are eating, (a raspberry jam, cheese bread and ice cream is definitely a favorite), or I'll mash up a banana or give you some yogurt.

You love to do the flips, just like your brother did. Silly kids! You're both gonna be daddy's little daredevils, making this momma scared!

I love to see your smile. I swear it starts at your toes! Your whole body smiles when you're happy, which, thankfully, is very often. I love love love the crinkle of your nose when you smile or laugh! And your giggle is just precious. One of my favorite things is when you are nursing and you stop just to smile at me with those big blue eyes. You are too precious for words little girl.

And your hair! We can't decide what it's going to do. It's growing now, and all the dark spots are gone. You have the red birth marks on your neck like I did. Your hair is fluffy and chick-like now. And light! Almost sandy. Are you going to be a little tow-head like your brother, or are you going to be my redheaded baby??

Whatever you are, whatever you do, you make our lives better. You are very very very loved little lady, and don't you forget it!!

~mommy

RSV

Sweet baby girl, you and I took a Really Sucky Vacation last week- 5 days in the hospital with RSV! It all started on Tuesday, April 1. You had a little cough, a persistent fever and labored breathing. You'd had the little cough since Sunday, but the fever and breathing were new- and SCARY. The pediatrician recommended we go to the hospital so we checked in that night. They hooked you up to an oxygen machine and an oxygen reader- a cord to your nose, and a cord to your toes. It reminded me of your brother in NICU. I like my babies wireless!! They are so much easier to snuggle! But even with your cords, we snuggled a lot. By Thursday, you were doing pretty good during the day and not needing the oxygen on. But the nights were awful. First, your sleep schedule took a hit anyways, with everyone coming in to poke and prod you. Then, every time you realized you had the oxygen on, you got mad, ripping madly at your nose. You hated the nurses coming in to take your temperature and use the BBG (baby booger getter) machine. And you (we!) got sooooo bored being locked down in those four walls. We couldn't even walk the halls because you were contagious. Daddy would come up in the evenings to visit and Grandpa Bob and Grandpa Mike each took a turn or two, and Grandma of course. Even Uncle AJ came to visit. I stayed all day, every day, except once to sneak away for a bath and short nap with Hudson. I sure missed that kid! So did you. Now we are home, and you are great during the days. But we still have rough nights. You have to use oxygen while you sleep. Last night, we tried a couple hours without it and you did great. We will continue to wean you off of it these next few days. Doctor says it's just a matter of time now, that you are recovering as expected. Unfortunately, now I am afraid your brother may have it. I sure hope not! The last thing I need is another Really Sucky Vacation!

Tuesday, when I was dropping you off at Grandma's you were extra cuddly and had a low-grade fever. After feeding you, you seemed unable to breath. I rushed you into the bathroom and let the steam clear you up. You spit up a lot of phlegm. I stayed at Grandma's with you and just cuddled until your breathing seemed difficult, when we took you to the doctor's, at 3:40.

By 6:00, you were checked into room 103 (the Monkey Room) at Ogden Regional.

You weren't happy. :(

Cousin Paegan was across the hall, having just had her tonsils removed. Cassidy picked out this elephant for you.

Grandpa Mike loves you!

Kitty from Aunt Shelly and family. Grandma and I (and the respiratory therapist) sang "Soft Kitty" to you.

Bored. Bored. Bored. I had stuffies for you, but the nurse found you this cool snake, which entertained you for a bit.

Enough to tire you right out anyways.

Then daddy brought your toy bar and you were much happier!

Daddy loves you!

Trying some apple juice because on top of everything else, you just couldn't go potty for a little while.

Grandpa Bob loves you!

A little bit of oxygen makes a world of difference.

Good numbers... we want more of these!

You didn't even mind getting into your car seat, just for a change in position.

And now we are both BORED. So here's some selfies...

Good night time numbers! I stared at this machine most nights, praying for 90 and above, dreading the beep that accompanied 86. As you'd decline, I'd talk to you, "Breathe baby B, breathe..." Sometimes you would respond just to my voice. 

Let's go home!!

Bubba missed us! 

I'm bustin' outta here! 

Happy to have you home!! Though the oxygen at night scares this momma, I do feel like you are recovering better at home than you would be if we stayed in the hospital. Day-to-day life keeps you happy during the daytime hours, and even with the oxygen and constant checks, I am sleeping a little, in my own comfortable home.

Earning your nickname of Booger B! Tried to catch a booger bubble...

Daddy and bubba are happy to have you home!

Hope you are healthy again very soon baby girl! I am so sorry you aren't feeling well. My heart just aches for you. I would trade you places in a heartbeat, baby. Let's breathe and be happy! I love you darling girl!