Friday, January 24, 2014
Missin' you
Just sitting at work missing you, pretty girl. You did NOT want me to leave this morning. You were hungry at grandma's, so I sat and nursed you. And you did NOT want to stop. And I didn't either. I love our time together. I was already running late for work so I took my time with you. But even so, when I did have to go, you cried for me. I wanted to cry for you. Luckily, it is Friday. I get to go home at 4 instead of 5:15, and then we have the whole weekend. I don't know what our plans are, but we will make the most of our time together. I love you baby girl!!!
Brave
When I was pregnant with you, this song (Brave, Sara Bareilles) seemed to speak to me. It felt like it was made for you. It's the kind of person I want you to be. Brave. My counselor/teacher mind hears this song and thinks of bullying and how it takes only one Brave person to stand up and make a difference. I hope you can be that one person. Or maybe you will need to be brave because of the adversity you will face. Whatever it may be, please be BRAVE. Use your words confidentally, kindly and honestly. Let your outer beauty compliment your inner beauty. Never give up. Never feel alone. And always know that you are loved, NO MATTER WHAT.
You can be amazing
You can turn a phrase into a weapon or a drug
You can be the outcast
Or be the backlash of somebody’s lack of love
Or you can start speaking up
Nothing’s gonna hurt you the way that words do
When they settle ‘neath your skin
Kept on the inside and no sunlight
Sometimes a shadow wins
But I wonder what would happen if you
Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave
With what you want to say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I wanna see you be brave
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I wanna see you be brave
Everybody’s been there,
Everybody’s been stared down by the enemy
Fallen for the fear
And done some disappearing,
Bow down to the mighty
Don’t run, just stop holding your tongue
Maybe there’s a way out of the cage where you live
Maybe one of these days you can let the light in
Show me how big your brave is
Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave
With what you want to say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave
And since your history of silence
Won’t do you any good,
Did you think it would?
Let your words be anything but empty
Why don’t you tell them the truth?
Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave
With what you want to say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I wanna see you be brave
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
See you be brave
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
You can turn a phrase into a weapon or a drug
You can be the outcast
Or be the backlash of somebody’s lack of love
Or you can start speaking up
Nothing’s gonna hurt you the way that words do
When they settle ‘neath your skin
Kept on the inside and no sunlight
Sometimes a shadow wins
But I wonder what would happen if you
Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave
With what you want to say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I wanna see you be brave
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I wanna see you be brave
Everybody’s been there,
Everybody’s been stared down by the enemy
Fallen for the fear
And done some disappearing,
Bow down to the mighty
Don’t run, just stop holding your tongue
Maybe there’s a way out of the cage where you live
Maybe one of these days you can let the light in
Show me how big your brave is
Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave
With what you want to say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave
And since your history of silence
Won’t do you any good,
Did you think it would?
Let your words be anything but empty
Why don’t you tell them the truth?
Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave
With what you want to say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I wanna see you be brave
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
See you be brave
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
Tuesday, January 14, 2014
Your Story
Well baby girl, you did decide to wait until the 28th, the day we had scheduled to induce labor. There were a couple reasons we decided to induce rather than wait- 1) We could. 2) Being 39 weeks pregnant is a LOT harder than being 34 weeks and 6 days pregnant. 3) I was so afraid my water wouldn't break and I wouldn't know if I was contracting or not, terrified that I somehow wouldn't get to the hospital on time. 4) We knew that the hospital's policy for sibling visitation was that the ward would shut down on November 1 to all children regardless of relation due to the RSV season. Understandably. But we wanted bubba Hudson to meet his new sister in the hospital.
And so we induced. The plan was to induce at 9 am, but I got a call on Sunday saying they wanted us there at 7 am. So it was a little earlier than planned, even better. We dropped Hudson off at Grandma's and got to the hospital full of excitement. By 8, I was in a room and on an IV of liquids, still dialated only to a 3 (the nurse said 2, even though the doctor said 3 the week before- we're going with 3). Sometime after 9, the doctor came in and broke my water. And eventually they started the pitocin. After the pitocin, things got kind of blurry for me. I remember feeling really out of it. My contractions hurt. Much more than they ever did with your brother, by the time I got my epidural. The nurse was a super sweet lady named Lynn that kept reminding me to breath. She kept things light. They kept checking me to see if I'd dialated more. It hurt every time she checked. I had, but your head was so high up and turned to the side that they worried I wouldn't be able to push you out. The doctor had me try pushing a few times, but no progress. He mentioned "C-section" and said we might have to do one if you didn't come down. It felt like only minutes had gone by and I know of people who have labored and pushed for hours and hours. I was terrified at the thought. There were a lot of nurses and professionals in the room. I felt so out of it, so tired. I remember feeling far away almost. They seemed concerned about you, like you were in distress. I wanted to cry and scream for you, but I felt numb and unable to do much. But worry. It was much scarier even than Hudson's birth. But after more pushes, you made good progress and the doctor decided we could do it. You were born at 12:25 in the afternoon. I heard your cry and felt an instant relief. Your skin was a beautiful pink. You were beautiful. And 9 minutes later I got to hold you! It was incredible. Exactly what I dreamt of. So soft, so precious. They left you with me and daddy and Grandma took turns holding you. You looked so strong in your bedside bassinet. It was amazing to have a cordless-baby. I remember trying to snuggle Hudson and it was always so hard with all his attachments. Grandpa brought Hudson up to see you. Grandpa Bob came up to meet you. And Grandma Weezie and Grandpa Bob Eames. And Uncle AJ and Alex. And Sarah and Ty. And Tana and Shelly. Everyone said the same thing. You were perfect, precious and pretty.
We stayed at the hospital for 2 days. Daddy stayed the first night, then the next night was an all-night girl's party, just you and me. They would have released me the next day, but I wanted more time to heal. I needed it.
You quickly latched on and nursed like a champ right from the start. Every time a nurse would come in to see how we were doing, you were nursing. Of course, my milk didn't come in until that Saturday, just small amounts of colostrum. You lost 8% of your body weight by the time we went to the pediatrician's on Thursday, so she had me supplement with a formula until my milk came in. Once my milk started, you gained quickly. You are a healthy, beautiful baby.
At your two month appt., you were 10 lbs, 6 oz. and soooo strong. You've always held your head so strong and proud. When the doctor turned you onto your belly to check your muscle tone, you started pushing away, practically crawling. She said you were one of the strongest babies she's ever seen and seemed truly impressed. You are already teething- you have a little nub on your bottom left side that you can feel, though it will probably go back down and come back up a few times. You love to be bounced and wiggled. Your favorite position is slung over my arm, bouncing on my knee. Unless of course you are hungry, then of course you want to be snuggled up to me and latched on. You are a happy baby. You have the most beautiful full-mouth, full-face smile. Your nose crinkles, your blue eyes light up. Your eyes are a greyish blue- I think they will be blue like daddy's. Your hair is brown with blond tips, much lighter than Hudson's was. It gets so curly when wet! Your eye lashes seemed almost to not exist until you were several weeks old, they were so light and short. But now they are growing and are darker. Still not as luscious as bubba's, go figure. You make the sweetest, girliest noises!
And you love your mama. But not near as much as she loves you. I love you darling girl!!
~mommy
And so we induced. The plan was to induce at 9 am, but I got a call on Sunday saying they wanted us there at 7 am. So it was a little earlier than planned, even better. We dropped Hudson off at Grandma's and got to the hospital full of excitement. By 8, I was in a room and on an IV of liquids, still dialated only to a 3 (the nurse said 2, even though the doctor said 3 the week before- we're going with 3). Sometime after 9, the doctor came in and broke my water. And eventually they started the pitocin. After the pitocin, things got kind of blurry for me. I remember feeling really out of it. My contractions hurt. Much more than they ever did with your brother, by the time I got my epidural. The nurse was a super sweet lady named Lynn that kept reminding me to breath. She kept things light. They kept checking me to see if I'd dialated more. It hurt every time she checked. I had, but your head was so high up and turned to the side that they worried I wouldn't be able to push you out. The doctor had me try pushing a few times, but no progress. He mentioned "C-section" and said we might have to do one if you didn't come down. It felt like only minutes had gone by and I know of people who have labored and pushed for hours and hours. I was terrified at the thought. There were a lot of nurses and professionals in the room. I felt so out of it, so tired. I remember feeling far away almost. They seemed concerned about you, like you were in distress. I wanted to cry and scream for you, but I felt numb and unable to do much. But worry. It was much scarier even than Hudson's birth. But after more pushes, you made good progress and the doctor decided we could do it. You were born at 12:25 in the afternoon. I heard your cry and felt an instant relief. Your skin was a beautiful pink. You were beautiful. And 9 minutes later I got to hold you! It was incredible. Exactly what I dreamt of. So soft, so precious. They left you with me and daddy and Grandma took turns holding you. You looked so strong in your bedside bassinet. It was amazing to have a cordless-baby. I remember trying to snuggle Hudson and it was always so hard with all his attachments. Grandpa brought Hudson up to see you. Grandpa Bob came up to meet you. And Grandma Weezie and Grandpa Bob Eames. And Uncle AJ and Alex. And Sarah and Ty. And Tana and Shelly. Everyone said the same thing. You were perfect, precious and pretty.
We stayed at the hospital for 2 days. Daddy stayed the first night, then the next night was an all-night girl's party, just you and me. They would have released me the next day, but I wanted more time to heal. I needed it.
You quickly latched on and nursed like a champ right from the start. Every time a nurse would come in to see how we were doing, you were nursing. Of course, my milk didn't come in until that Saturday, just small amounts of colostrum. You lost 8% of your body weight by the time we went to the pediatrician's on Thursday, so she had me supplement with a formula until my milk came in. Once my milk started, you gained quickly. You are a healthy, beautiful baby.
At your two month appt., you were 10 lbs, 6 oz. and soooo strong. You've always held your head so strong and proud. When the doctor turned you onto your belly to check your muscle tone, you started pushing away, practically crawling. She said you were one of the strongest babies she's ever seen and seemed truly impressed. You are already teething- you have a little nub on your bottom left side that you can feel, though it will probably go back down and come back up a few times. You love to be bounced and wiggled. Your favorite position is slung over my arm, bouncing on my knee. Unless of course you are hungry, then of course you want to be snuggled up to me and latched on. You are a happy baby. You have the most beautiful full-mouth, full-face smile. Your nose crinkles, your blue eyes light up. Your eyes are a greyish blue- I think they will be blue like daddy's. Your hair is brown with blond tips, much lighter than Hudson's was. It gets so curly when wet! Your eye lashes seemed almost to not exist until you were several weeks old, they were so light and short. But now they are growing and are darker. Still not as luscious as bubba's, go figure. You make the sweetest, girliest noises!
And you love your mama. But not near as much as she loves you. I love you darling girl!!
~mommy
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)